Strangely Drawn to Being Alone

I was strangely drawn to the idea of going out without a phone this morning. Just me, my Cafe Moto, and the thrift shop answering to no one. What a feeling to not have a person waiting or depending on you for a thing. And no one speaking to you. Thank you.

I remember my grandma used to hum. Even if we were just asking for colored pencils, she would hum. I like that. While digging deep inside the drawer and her memory, she was caring for herself. Somehow being with herself before anything else in that moment. In her own way of it. She had 7 kids. I do that too. I'm in the process of going partially insane and losing my memory. So it works.

Now I guess technically we're chipped with a GPS all the time. Someone's always following us. There is no time really to be with our self. Thinking. Learning. Feeling. Being.

Before I went out, I planted some hypothetical seeds.I sent messages out into the universe. In other words, I messaged people, took care of stuff, took some deep breaths, tried to relax. I turned off the phone. I thought about it a few times. I winked at it a little bit. And then I bugged off to be with me. It isn't as easy as it sounds when you have two children under 8, a startup business that you're trying to, well start, and you're still wondering how to be a woman with a beating heart who gets excited at little messages and nice things. How do you juggle all of that? Sometimes we don't.

It's okay to let situations simmer. It's necessary. Why is this device not already a part of our flesh? Right now I'm surprised I actually wrote this on a paper. Not today. Not in a damn phone. Well, now it's in a phone. And now I'm on the phone again. Damn it. Oh hi, notifications.

#SimplifyingLife